Starting A New Life........

after a month of thinking i finally decided to start over...
i have fallen a alot of times...
god knows how many...
the reason that i start over a new life is because i realize that my actions have hurt the people i loved...
my stupid egoness has caused nothing but trouble...
worst of all i have hurt the person that i really love....
and i know sorry doesnt fix things...
sigh...
i wish i could turn back time and fix it...
i am the cause of all these problems...
but now i have decided to throw away all that is bad about me including my egoness...
i decided to be more caring and loving to others than me...
i know that i have changed alot of times...
but now i promise to change for the good...
btw...
i would like to apologize to one person who has been in my heart...
eventhough it was a month that we were together...
i want to say thank you for being with me....
and i would like to say sorry for not understanding u...
u will and always be in my heart...

1st sem is done

1st semester of college is done...
sigh...
soo fast...
well..
to sum it all up...
it was uphill and downhill and uphill again in that college...
sigh...
thinking of changing college...
all my friends are going...
maybe i should follow them...
hehehe....
now having 3 weeks holiday...
i am now bored to death...
nth to do...

Emotions

Emotions is a very powerful thing in every human being….
Emotions can make people argue or fight with one another….
Emotions can make people cry….
Emotions can make people go crazy….
Emotions can even test the limit of a friendship….
We must always learn how to control our emotions…
If we let our emotions get the better of us…
We will do a lot of things that we will regret in the future….
So…
That’s what is happening to me now….
I have let my emotions get the better of me….
It all happened because I fell in love with a girl…
When I found out what happened….
My emotions run high…
I have been crying and I never eat….
I do not blame the girl…
I blame myself because I let my emotions get the best of me….
Its really unlike me….
I used to be soo cheerful and happy….
So….
Now I realize what love can do to me….
It actually causes more sadness than happiness….
So I decided to pull myself together and say “it’s just a bad dream”….
After college started…
I was confident of starting a new life….
But these few days I felt something is weird happening to me….
I felt something is bothering me…
I have been trying to figure out what is the cause of it….
Is it that I cannot let the girl go…?
Because everything I do reminds me of her….
And I feel sad to let that go….
I feel like a fool….
Half of me tells me that she has a boyfriend and move on….
But the other half of me does not want to move on…
That girl meant a lot to me….
I am really confused now….
My head is messed up…
Man I feel like an idiot….
I do not deserve to be with her…
In fact I do not deserve to be with anyone…
I think I really have to figure a way to cure myself…
Before it is too late for me to make things right….

I DUNNO... I DUN CARE... IN FACT I DUN GIVE A DAMN....

its best to be just happy go lucky...
cause if u be caring...
u will be used...
if u are loving...
nothing goes well...
so...
to me....
i would rather be " I DUNNO... I DUN CARE... I DUN GIVE A DAMN..."

What is the use of being a good person????

these few days...
i am wondering why must i be a good person???
i am sick and tired of it...
its useless..
i get used..
and nothing goes well..